The stories we tell

are we the stories we tell?

The story that I have told myself is this: one day I will find a story or a story will find me and we’ll sit to together this story and me, get a feel for each other, see if we can work together, work each other out, be together for a while.

I believed that story.

Like all belief, it was challenged a few times. It even got lost for a period of time. While it was lost I discovered that I wasn’t looking to find a story and I wasn’t waiting for a story to find me. In time, I realized that I no longer believed in that story I’d been telling myself.

It was quite an adjustment to lose belief in something, even if was just a story I told myself over and over as part of my writering process. And yet, it’s a painfully good loss: losing that one story opened me to all the stories out there, just waiting to have a conversation, to be listened to.

Now, I am no longer that story that I told myself.  Not held by it, not held to it. Another painfully good loss. Instead, there’s an empty space inside where once there was something that helped me to define aspects of me to me. It’s an uneasy feeling, this painful good loss, but I’m okay with having an empty space. It’ll be space for something when I’m ready for it to not be empty any longer. Or maybe I’ll just be completely modernist and let it stay empty, no longer take in or be contained within any single story I might tell myself.

Speaking of single stories — I had thought that I’d close this site down. Upon reflection, I think that I’ll keep it for a bit and see what comes out of all those conversations that are about to happen with all those stories; see how the space fills.

You might not notice a huge difference. But then again, you might. Whatever it is that you notice, I hope to hear from you along the way.

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About FS

Toronto, Canada. Writing about slices of life, the moments and minor details of which come into awareness or out of imagination and the spaces inbetween. On hiatus from writing ... at least for now.
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2 Responses to The stories we tell

  1. Terrisita says:

    I am always interested in hearing new stories, and very glad to be along for the telling of this future tale. As much as you might like to consider that you could be “modernist” by leaving the space blank, life will fill it, regardless. As they say, “Nature abhors a vacuum!”…quite literally in fact, “they”. (That quote is attributed to almost a dozen writers/philosophers/politicians/poets). More interested in hearing where this will lead you though. Keep writering my friend.

    • FS says:

      T; What would I do with you? Thank you — I am struggling with this, you know. And you do know that visually, 7 of 10 slices of me lean toward a modernist aesthetic. The philosophers can be wrong, since Nature seems to be an objective reality, so, it/she cannot abhor anything, and besides, that saying could simply mean that Nature has an aversion to things in life that suck too much. And on that note I think I’ll stop there :-). This is part of the family entertainment channel!

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