Out into the backyard for a few minutes to do backyard type things. Although rumour has it that it is Spring, it’s been the dark side of Spring with lots of overcast skies and rain. It was supposed to be sunny and warm today so there I was out in the back yard waiting for evidence of both. There wasn’t any. Looking up, it seemed as if rolling hills of clouds went on forever. Not only that, they were moving slowly eastward across the sky where they would either disappear or join other clouds to party in Montreal.
I came back inside and remembered that I had to move something on the front porch and as I opened the front door, I found it: brilliant sunshine. I was confused. So I closed the door and went back to the backyard to check. It was still cloudy. I ran to the front, opened the door and checked. Still sunny. I walked to the boulevard, followed by the curious dogs and looked up at the sky. The dogs shrugged, sat down and pointed their noses at the sky, squinting, wondering what we were doing.
I missed all the meteorology classes I didn’t take, so don’t know what phenomenon I was witnessing, but it reminded me how things can look different depending on where you stand and what you see, and that old thing of belief. To this day I remember being on Toronto Island where it was sunny and warm and watched as it poured buckets of rain on Toronto, across the very small bay.
Which brings me to coming back here after deciding to close this blog.
I made a decision to end the blog for reasons that seemed rational, albeit tinged with emotion because sitting with not knowing or having answers about what I was doing or wanted to do with this blog was driving me a bit nuts. For some reason, I could not just be with this not knowing. Not having a goal for it, or a niche for it. I couldn’t see that if I just waited, or walked to a different place, I would see something different and relax.
Life does change, it’s true. So do minds. And sometimes that change brings you back to a place; in a different way, with different eyes. So I hope you don’t mind, but I’d like to change my mind and come back every now and again.