It is possible that some people might disagree with this — and you know who you are — but the fact is I don’t like telling people what to do. I’d rather go through life not being hampered by things that don’t really require my attention, time, perspective.
Sadly, life has other ideas. And sometimes, not always the ideas or ways that I see as perhaps the way, even as I know there is precious little that is THE definitive way to do or think anything. Goodness only knows why this happens, although it’s fair to say a hormone or two might be involved. And maybe, just maybe, being an older sister, and a boss of many and a leader of a few ideas kinda things, but mostly, it’s probably acting from not stopping to think about it. I might be blushing. Tis true. I sometimes open my mouth to change feet.
Not that I do it — tell anyone what to do — with any great frequency (hormones…not withstanding) and even when it happens, it is certainly not with everyone, but when I stop and realize that I am about to tell someone to do something, I also realize that not only have I not been invited to give my opinion or direction, but that really, there’s no need. The world is full of opinions, and many tellers of how to do things.
When I do manage to stop to think about it, when I use the presence of mind thing and observe my behaviour and my feeling about my behaviour and how my behaviour and my words influence people and how I really don’t like telling people, any people, any person, what to do, well; I wish I had 365-day, 24/7 presence of mind.
Which is not to say that I don’t like things to go the way I think they ought to go when it involves me and my time and life, because when I am not laid back and flexible about things, I most certainly do expect things to be a certain way: you know, organized, smooth, flow, make sense, clear, well-thought out, on time, productive, seamless, to my taste, clean (messy is okay, dirty is not) and all that great, good stuff.
When I don’t stop to think about it, when I don’t have that presence of mind and it slips out of my mouth, or rather I open my mouth to change feet, I end up telling someone what do do because, well, if the world is divided into those who tell people what to do, and those who are told to do it, I will be on the telling side. Or on the silent side, which is louder sometimes. Luckily it is a very small but important number of people that this ever happens with, and I am more than chagrined by it, and hope that at the end of my days, it will have evaporated.
For today, I don’t really have anything to tell to anyone, but I thought that these are things that needed to be told and I wanted to tell SOMEONE these things, which are things I would never tell anyone because these are not the things I tell, but if I did tell people these things, today I would tell someone, these things with feeling, and there would be NO directions involved at all.