I am telling you…

It is possible that some people might disagree with this — and you know who you are — but the fact is I don’t like telling people what to do. I’d rather go through life not being hampered by things that don’t really require my attention, time, perspective.

Sadly, life has other ideas. And sometimes, not always the ideas or ways that I see as perhaps the way, even as I know there is precious little that is THE definitive way to do or think anything. Goodness only knows why this happens, although it’s fair to say a hormone or two might be involved. And maybe, just maybe, being an older sister, and a boss of many and a leader of a few ideas kinda things, but mostly, it’s probably acting from not stopping to think about it. I might be blushing. Tis true. I sometimes open my mouth to change feet.

Not that I do it — tell anyone what to do — with any great frequency (hormones…not withstanding) and even when it happens, it is certainly not with everyone, but when I stop and realize that I am about to tell someone to do something, I also realize that not only have I not been invited to give my opinion or direction, but that really, there’s no need. The world is full of opinions, and many tellers of how to do things.

When I do manage to stop to think about it, when I use the presence of mind thing and observe my behaviour and my feeling about my behaviour and how my behaviour and my words influence people and how I really don’t like telling people, any people, any person, what to do, well; I wish I had 365-day, 24/7 presence of mind.

Which is not to say that I don’t like things to go the way I think they ought to go when it involves me and my time and life, because when I am not laid back and flexible about things, I most certainly do expect things to be a certain way: you know, organized, smooth, flow, make sense, clear, well-thought out, on time, productive, seamless, to my taste, clean (messy is okay, dirty is not) and all that great, good stuff.

When I don’t stop to think about it, when I don’t have that presence of mind and it slips out of my mouth, or rather I open my mouth to change feet, I end up telling someone what do do because, well, if the world is divided into those who tell people what to do, and those who are told to do it, I will be on the telling side. Or on the silent side, which is louder sometimes. Luckily it is a very small but important number of people that this ever happens with, and I am more than chagrined by it, and hope that at the end of my days, it will have evaporated.

For today, I don’t really have anything to tell to anyone, but I thought that these are things that needed to be told and I wanted to tell SOMEONE these things, which are things I would never tell anyone because these are not the things I tell, but if I did tell people these things, today I would tell someone, these things with feeling, and there would be NO directions involved at all.

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About FS

Toronto, Canada. Writing about slices of life, the moments and minor details of which come into awareness or out of imagination and the spaces inbetween. On hiatus from writing anywhere else but here ... at least for now.
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9 Responses to I am telling you…

  1. ValerieD says:

    That tirade of ” For today, I don’t really have anything to tell to anyone, but I thought that these are things that needed to be told and I wanted to tell SOMEONE these things, which are things I would never tell anyone because these are not the things I tell, but if I did tell people these things, today I would tell someone, these things with feeling, and there would be NO directions involved at all.” is absolutely priceless !! 😀
    Loved your well chosen quotes; “Love isn’t practical” particularly timely, as I ponder what to do next about a certain someone… and try to answer my own questions… 😉

    • FS says:

      Thank you 🙂

    • FS says:

      …and good luck pondering and answering questions, that is.

      • ValerieD says:

        Do I need luck? You think? 😉
        Or a dose of patience, a dash of hope and a sprinkle of magic powder?
        Alas, pondering over questions usually begets MORE questions. Much like curiosity. Those silly buggers tend to procreate at an alarming rate. (Side effect of reading I’ve found. I’m pretty sure that it’s coded on the X-chromosomes). Questions multiply and then organize into hunting parties to go look for more. In the process, Messenger-RNA transcripts into proteins which become neurotransmitters. Endorphins are secreted and… (wait… ooooh that feels sooo goooood) …induce a cool dream-like buzz. As the pre-frontal cortex is activated, a cascade ensues. The whole brain lights up, sending little shivers of excitement down your spine and an army of “What if?” Butterflies into your stomach. Sometimes, they REALLY tickle. It interferes with sleep. Like now.
        It’s a terminal relapsing disease you know. I don’t think it’s contagious though (Either that or some people are COMPLETELY immune). I am not 100% sure. I shall have to do some research.

      • FS says:

        Luck was probably the wrong word. I am SO glad there’s a biological explanation for curiosity. A few years ago I started to tell people that I am just terminally curious. My GP just shakes her head when I ask her questions. Um… sleep deprivation can make you nuts.

  2. Terrisita says:

    Once again, you have told us something without resorting to telling us anything, because Goddess knows, we didn’t ask to be told, but are better for having heard what you had to tell us. And (yes, I know that a sentence should never begin with “and”…don’t TELL ME) you made perfect sense, and I hope you continue to influence people with your prose and ideas and style and purpose. Love the way you express yourself, and lead us without us really knowing that we were being lead or influenced. You ARE the mistress!

    • fs says:

      Dearest T: The secret to writing is first to know the rules then you can break them to fit your need, OR tell the words what you want them to do: In academic writing, you cannot use And to start a sentence, but in personal writing, have at it. IF it works, you CAN start a sentence with And, or because. or Gee. :-). And as always my friend, thank you. ((hugs))

  3. Shannon says:

    Love this!

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